I've Stepped Away From Social Media...Again
Throughout 2024, I struggled with my habit of doom scrolling, feeling the need to be active, and getting caught up in the algorithm of ads. I kept saying I would escape social media once and for all. I took steps here and there to reduce the negativity I felt. I deleted my Twitter/X account and deactivated my Facebook; however, I always hesitated with Instagram/Threads.
I couldn’t understand why I hesitated, as being away from social media isn’t new to me. I deleted all my social media accounts for over a year in my late twenties. But that bubbling anxiety of FOMO saw my return. I came back believing I wouldn’t feel like I had before and that I would maintain a healthy habit around social media.
I recreated all my accounts and decided to use Instagram as a book reading diary, joining the bookstagram world. I wanted to share my thoughts on the books I was reading. I learnt I could join book tours and request books through publishers. I got caught up in the excitement of it all. Three years later, I was reading to deadlines, only posting #adprproduct and #gifted posts, neglecting the books on my ever-growing shelves. Reading became a task on my to-do list, and posting became less authentic.
Slowly, I reduced my requests for tour spots and books sent via publishers. I reignited my love of reading, what and when, for me. I still posted, but it still didn’t feel quite right.
I decided to step back and reflect on whether and how I wanted to appear online. I focused on what felt true to me, revamping my Substack publication into what it is today.
Yet, I still couldn’t remove my ties from Instagram, even though I was trying to use the platform to grow my Substack. To top it all off, I decided to join Bluesky, hoping to find that renewed excitement. I also tried using Notes more often. But no matter what I tried none of it brought me connection or love. I was trying to focus on areas that didn’t feel true to me, taking me away from the intentional growth and love I had for writing my posts.
In December, creating my theme and ways of being led me to questions to help me with my year of enlightenment. I used some of them to reflect on my battle with social media to see what would happen.Â
What is true right now?
Am I listening to my heart?
Is there alignment with my values?
I’m battling my mind and heart about what I should be doing on social media. I’m trying to maintain the social norm of being on social media. I prefer connecting with friends and family in real life and through messages and calls. I want to be part of a community and create an authentic, safe space that others can dip in and out of through natural growth.
In my battle between my mind and heart, I’m listening to my mind more. My heart says that social media has a heavier negative weight than positive. I don’t feel connected the way I would want to loved ones and a community. I have a disconnect that doesn’t feel intentional or true. I don’t have a love for my social media usage, taking my intention and love away from where I’d like to explore and how I’d like to live.
Reflecting on this opened my heart, and my hesitation about Instagram/Threads disappeared. What is true for me right now, which aligns with my values and listens to my heart, is to remove social media. I didn’t just uninstall the apps from my phone. On New Year’s Eve, I deleted my Bluesky and Instagram accounts.
For full disclosure, I still have Discord, Patreon, which I’m relatively new to, and, of course, Substack. These are to stay. I have these on my phone, yet, I’ve been able to create a healthy habit of my usage, averaging less than thirty minutes a day on them combined. I’m satisfied with that amount. If I spend more time on them, it’s through my laptop creating or participating in the community. Though I’m social on these, I class them as community platforms, unlike the others I’ve stepped away from.
It’s been over three weeks since I deleted my accounts, and so far, I’m not missing them at all. I don’t have FOMO. The only thing I did fear was the reels shared by my best friend through Instagram chat. But I had nothing to fear as she started sharing the swearing positivity videos via Whatsapp.
I’ve noticed several things over the last few weeks:
I’m not reaching for my phone as often
My average daily screen time for my phone is slowly going down
How my online life is or isn’t being used as it was before
I’m reverting to offline systems - more on this in a future post.
I’m feeling more energised and focused - my Miracle Morning experiments are helping with this.
I’m becoming aware of times I would have gone to Doom Scroll and adapting to what I need in the moment.
I’ve ‘found more time’ to do more of what I love.
I can’t say I’d never return to the social media platforms I’ve stepped away from or get caught up in the excitement of future creations. I can only say what is true for me right now: I have no plans to return. Whether it is only for a year like my previous time away or for longer, I will continue to reap the above benefits and more to become the best version of myself.
With love, Tami.
Good for you.
It's an addiction for many people.