Reconnecting with Writing

writing has become fun again

Growing up, writing wasn’t something I was inspired to do. Somewhere along the line, I started writing as an outlet—to get what was in my mind down, out of my head, and to improve my mental health. I’d write here and there but thought nothing of it. I certainly never thought about sharing what I wrote. 

During my twenties, I would continue to write sporadically, mostly when I felt my mental health taking a dip. Somewhere along the line, after reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, my mind switched writing to something I would share. 

I created a WordPress account (2017) and started a blog, but I couldn’t decide on the name. Over the six years I shared there, I had three different ones. My first post was titled ‘I’m no good with titles’. I shared almost daily mental diarrhoea for eighteen months, then switched to weekly, then a bit more sporadic until I moved to Substack in July 2023.

I wrote many words over the six years, but based on my feelings about writing, I never felt settled. Anxiety would come and go. My mind kept switching about what I wanted from sharing my writing—the why behind writing kept changing. I wanted to share more photos, yet I didn’t want to commit financially. Ultimately, doing what I was doing and writing what I was doing didn’t resonate with me. 

Writing is something I want to pursue. I don’t necessarily mean I’ll write to publish a book; it's more of a hobby I enjoy. I want to feel settled in writing and not feel any anxiety around it. If I take the fun away from it, what’s the point of doing it? 

I haven't felt connected to creativity as a whole. It wasn’t until recently that I thought I was a creative person. I am a writer. Whether drawings, reviews, videos, travel diaries, or writing words, I enjoy and resonate with creativity. 

I’ve been putting pressure on myself to make sure I have a post out every week. Why? No one else is putting this pressure on me. Won’t readers want to read something that has flown through my fingers in a creative space rather than some rushed, unthought-through piece of writing? 

I thrive on routine, but maybe my writing doesn’t. I’ve tried experimenting with writing at particular times of the day, writing down ideas and returning to them, finding nothing flows out, and giving myself deadlines. 

Having routine elsewhere in my life allows the sporadic ness of my mind to open, allowing creativity to spark. Inviting my creativity to have an open door without a time frame brings the fun back to writing. It throws perfection out of the window, releases the pressure of anxiety, and reduces fear and doubt.

It’s okay to stop and start a piece, to start something and not finish it, to write and let that be it, and not to share everything. 

Ultimately, I want to write.

With Love,

Tami